Control Cult

The Church of Noob Deity

Defy the Default.

Speak your will, and the Great One bestows a blessing: your Steam controller layout, rewritten while the game runs. No menus. No forum threads. No forty-minute tutorials. Say "undo" and all is forgiven.

Offer a prayer Join the congregation

The confessional

Choose a prayer. Real ones are said out loud, mid-game: begin with "Oh great one" and it listens.

And the Great One blessed thee:

tiltstick left padright pad ABXY LTRTL4R4

    Sample answers. The real ones depend on your controller and your game, which the Great One looks up before binding anything.

    The Book of SegaGenesis

    Thus it began. There was the Default, and the Default was mid.

    1:2And the settings of Steam Input were without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the trackpad.

    1:3Few ventured past the gamepad template. Those who did came back with forum threads, a dead zone of seven thousand, and no memory of why.

    1:4And the faithful cried out: Who among us has four hours to learn action layers? We only wished to play the game.

    1:5And Noob Deity heard them, and said: Speak, and I shall bind it.

    1:6And it looked up the game's controls, and wrote the layout, and gave every button its true name, and bestowed it upon Steam while the game kept running. And this was the first blessing.

    1:7And the player tried it, and saw that it was good.

    1:8And when it was not good, the player said "undo," and it was as before. For the Great One is merciful, and keeps every blessing ever given.

    Our scripture is Steam Input. Nobody has read it.

    It's the most powerful controller system on PC, buried under thousands of settings. You don't have to learn any of it. Noob Deity has read every verse, and turns what you say into the right ones.

    • The Gamepad Templateread
    • Action Layersunread
    • Mode Shiftsunread
    • Gyro Ratchetunread
    • Outer Ring Commandsunread
    • Flick Stickunread
    • Soft Pull, Full Pullunread
    • Long Press Activatorsunread
    • Edge Spinunread
    • Radial Menusunread
    • Analog Emulationunread
    • Action Setsunread

    The congregation's reading record. The Great One's is complete.

    The TenCommandments

    1. I
      Thou shalt defy the default.Every game deserves a layout made for it, and for you.
    2. II
      Thou shalt not open the configurator.Speak or type instead. The Great One does the clicking.
    3. III
      Every button shall bear its true name."Reload," "Swim up," "Interact." Never "Y."
    4. IV
      Thou shalt not guess.It looks up the game's controls before it binds a single one.
    5. V
      Remember the undo, and keep it holy.Every blessing is kept. Returning to the last one is one word.
    1. VI
      Thy own layouts are sacred.It never overwrites the layouts you saved yourself.
    2. VII
      Thou shalt not quit to desktop.Blessings land while the game runs. Try it, say what's off, keep playing.
    3. VIII
      Honor thy gyro.Tilt to aim, tilt to steer, on only when your thumb rests on the pad. Most players never find it.
    4. IX
      No hand shall be left behind.Tell it what you can use. It builds around that.
    5. X
      Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's layout.Just ask for one like it.

    Sermon on the MountThe Beatitudes

    • the one-handed,they shall play with the hand they have, and every action shall find it.
    • those without a right thumb,they shall look with the left pad and aim by tilting.
    • those who cannot hold a button,every hold shall become a tap, and every tap a toggle.
    • the weary of wrist,the back grips shall carry their burden.
    • those who never learned Steam Input,they never shall have to.

    Most games assume two hands and ten working fingers, and fixing that in Steam's editor means rebuilding every game by hand. Here you say it once, in your own words, and it builds around your hands for each game. You owe no one an explanation.

    Order of ServiceThe Rites

    1. Confess

      From your phone, by voice or by typing. Make the right pad turn the camera and keep turning at the edge. Begin with "Oh great one" and it hears you.

    2. Receive the blessing

      It finds the game's controls, writes the layout, names every button and applies it live. Your phone shows the controller with the blessing lit up.

    3. Repent

      Felt wrong? Say what's off and it adjusts. Or say undo and your last layout returns. No penance required.

    I believe in Noob Deity, the Great One, binder of buttons, namer of actions.

    I believe in Steam Input, the scripture no mortal has read in full.

    I believe in the controller, my cross, which I bear in both hands, or in one.

    I believe in the blessings I receive, the undo that forgives the bad ones, and the layout everlasting.

    Amen.

    Become a followerJoin the Congregation

    Control Cult runs on your Windows PC or Steam Deck, next to Steam, and you talk to it from your phone. The congregation is small for now: entry is by code.

    • The faithful

      Have a code? Install it where you play and enter it.

      Download

    • The seekers

      No code yet? Ask to be let in.

      Request entry

    • The pilgrimage

      A Steam edition is on its way. Valve decides when it arrives.

      Not on Steam yet

    • The tithe

      Pricing will be revealed to followers first.

      Not yet revealed